The art of letting go is one of the most beautiful and painful things to learn

When you decide to step away you leave a void and voids are always uncomfortable. Not because of what's missing but because of what they reveal. And here is the intriguing part, your absence doesn't hurt! because of what you were to them! but because of what they can no longer project onto you. Make no mistake, people don't see you as you are, they see you as they need you to be. You are the mirror in which they reflect their insecurities, their hidden desires, their expectations...

To think that someone might depend on you not out of love, not out of genuine connection but because you are the support for something they don't want to face in themselves. This was a reality of my past marriage... I was a mirror but I was also a crutch...

Steping away doesn't just transform your life it shakes the world of those who don't know how to exist without you...

Your absence forces them to confront a question they never wanted to ask; how much of my emotional stability depends on this person? And this question was unbearable...

She depended on me more than she was willing to admit...and what happens next...she started to transform her perception of me, not because I have changed but because she needed to construct a version of my departure that's bearable for her...and I was demonized...

And, there is an uncomfortable truth, our connection wasn't based on unconditional love or mutual respect but on conveniences, power dynamics and unspoken needs...

So, when you step away, they don't just lose your presence, they lose a part of who they were with you and rebuilding that part isn't easy... suddenly that have to figure out who they are without you. And that start to remember you but not as you really were but as they need to remember you. That create a version of you that fits their need, their pain, their understanding of why you are no longer there. Some idealize you (you were so perfect, so necessary and I don't know who to value you), others demonize you (he only left because he never really cared about me and our family or a child). And a few, the bravest and awaken, face the truth, maybe I never understood what (s)he needed...